A Lesson on Getting “Unstuck”

Out of college, I landed a job that most were envious of. Great pay, brand new company car, expense account, high profile clients, you get the gist.

It was a corporate job, and in a short time, big wigs with the company were setting up lunches with me because they saw me as the next generation of leadership for their company.

I was on the path that everyone tells you to follow when you are young. Work hard in school, get a good job, work your way up, 30 years later, retire and play golf.

Problem was, I was unfulfilled. That didn’t matter initially, I was too busy proving myself, but once I was there for a while, I felt I could see what my next 20+ years looked like, and I wasn’t all that excited about it.

I knew it was stupid to consider anything else. Why piss away this great opportunity? So many of my friends from school would have killed for this job, and here I was feeling unsatisfied.

I tried to coach myself through what I was feeling. I decided I just needed a little more time off, to get more comfortable with my current career path.

I went into my yearly review with my bosses with a plan.

I sat down. They shared how happy they were with my work and that I would be getting a nice raise. I expected this.

That’s when I said, “I don’t want a raise.” Everyone in the room looked shocked and puzzled. “I would rather have more time off, and it doesn’t even need to be paid time off.”

I thought, how could they not accept such an offer? They didn’t have to pay me more, nor pay me for my time off. Win-Win. Right?

The senior managers looked at me for a moment and then smiled. They said, we get it. We understand. But…

They denied me the time off and gave me the raise anyway. It was a corporate environment, they said they couldn’t make an exception for me. Their hands were tied.

That day my commute home was the worst ever. Not because of traffic, but because I felt my life growing walls around it. The next day, I went shopping for a new truck, hoping that would make me feel better. But I could tell, even with the new car smell, I knew it wouldn’t change anything.

I felt myself settling.

I told myself over and over again, you have a golden ticket, be happy, be grateful.

And I was grateful, and proud I was doing well. I just felt like something was missing, and that I was on the wrong path, but I didn’t know where to turn.

But life has a funny way of presenting you with opportunities. You just have to see them for what they are.

I got called into active duty for a year to serve the Coast Guard and Homeland Security efforts in 2002. My corporate job was of course waiting for me when my time serving was up. But, once I stepped away from the corporate job, I could see how unhappy I was with that path, and it gave me the courage to say, I’m not going back.

Since then Amanda and I have been broke multiple times as we’ve attempted different entrepreneurial pursuits. Even today, nearly 20 years later, we rarely know what we are going to make next week, month, or year.

Staying in that corporate job would have no doubt brought us predictable financial security, but at what cost?

I don’t know that answer, because I was fortunate to find a new path to follow. One that brings me far more fulfilment, that fills that void I was feeling before, and that allows me to embrace my adventurous spirit.

I can’t help to wonder… if the Military didn’t call me in to active duty, would I still be at that corporate job? It’s hard to say, but it’s a constant reminder of how choosing to settle can be toxic in your life.

I was fortunate to learn that lesson early. When I start to feel stuck in my current circumstances, I know there is always something I can do to get myself unstuck.

Life presents you with opportunities all the time if you have the courage to see them.

We must not give up. We don’t have to settle.