5 Benefits of Realizing You Were an Awful

​I used to get trapped in a loop of thoughts about all the awful things I’d done. All the things I said. All of the times I approached someone or reacted to them with fear and anger instead of compassion and trust. Or just plain hurt someone for no good reason.

Example: We had friends who had to put down their dog. It was an awful time for them. The dog was young and healthy, but it was also aggressive. After two instances of the dog biting and severely injuring another dog, it was time.

Not long after dealing with this, we saw one half of the couple and I blurted out the fact that we were going to get a puppy. Perhaps not my best timing. I can still see the expression on his face, his features falling in pain as palpable as if I’d cut him with a knife.

Reliving this and a thousand other moments – was this the penance for having been a jerk? Was I doomed to a mental prison of regret over every time I’ve been an asshole?

(And as you’ve probably already guessed, the above example is a mild one. I’ve done far worse.)

But I’ve come to realize that we former assholes are not doomed. In fact, we’re blessed. Because we have these…

5 Benefits of Realizing You Were an Awful Person

1) You Grow.

You’d be more of an awful person if you never realized it at all. By acknowledging your own faults, you create the space to change them.

2) You Develop Compassion for Others.

When someone else is awful, maybe you see a bit of yourself in them. Maybe you take a moment to consider what they might be going through, and hope that they will someday grow as you have.

3) You Develop Compassion for Yourself.

Once you realize that the regrets center around the past (the former you), you permit yourself forgiveness and the permission to move forward.

4) You Strive to Be Great.

Now you know who you don’t want to be, so you can make great strides in becoming the person you DO want to be.

5) You Live in the Present.

Being aware of past blunders and committing to being the best version of yourself going forward keeps you focused on being that person now. Here. Today. In this moment.

Regrets only serve us if we acknowledge them and learn from them. Dwelling on regrets just keeps them alive and gives them power.

If, like me, you were an awful person, be grateful that the awful you is in the past.