Life is boring without our blunders and absurdities

Life is boring without our blunders and absurdities

Someone very dear to me sent me this picture, with the simple caption, “This is lovely.” I agree. I don’t know why she sent this to me at the time that she did, but it fell in my inbox as if meant to be. Kismet. (And I don’t even believe in fate.)

“No one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.”

If I’m burdened with anxiety, I’m unable to own my day, to realize its potential.

“Finish every day and be done with it.”

Yes! It’s simple but profound and maybe just the reminder I need to be here and now and moving forward.

“Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in. Forget them as soon as you can…”

There will always be blunders and absurdities. What a boring life I’d lead without them. Perfection has never been part of my aim, so why would I lament the blunders and absurdities? Aren’t they integral to my story?

“… tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.”

Shedding the unhelpful worries of what was – I love it. And thinking of it as my “old nonsense” just makes me smile.

“This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”

I’m not a worry-free person. I’m no Bobby McFerrin. But it seems to me that there are fruitful and unfruitful worries.

The unfruitful, like worrying about the blunders and the absurdities and the old nonsense, yields nothing and instead hinders what joy I might find today.

The fruitful worries focus on realizing the day’s potential. Will I make the most of this day I have?

That doesn’t mean it has to include a Triathlon or financial windfall or some hallmark of success.

Maybe it means creating a memory with my twelve-year-old or a word that brightens someone’s day or the simple but beautiful act of just letting down my guard.

I don’t ever want to take those small moments for granted. In the greater context of life, they might seem like grains of sand compared to the beach. But remember, there’s no beach without the grains of sand.

Can I even call an apprehension about realizing the day’s potential a worry? Perhaps for a second, because it’s only there for a breath before it turns into motivation to soak in this day with all its promise (“its hopes and invitations”).

That worry = motivation = drive = some sort of positive yield. I’ll take it and I’ll be grateful for it. Blunders included.

Join The Community!

Join the quest for “The Sweet Life.” Request access to our Facebook Group. Let’s learn from each other! GO HERE

Free Audio Book Download

Full Unabridged Audio Book “Vagabonding With Kids” by AK Turner! GO HERE

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

See how you score? Identify your strengths. Discover areas in your life you want to improve. GO HERE.

Giving Back

Amanda and Mike launched an Impact Club in their hometown of Boise, Idaho in 2017, and have had a blast gathering like-minded individuals, families, and organizations to make significant impact in our community, raising over $200,000 locally and over $1.5 million nationally.

About Us

Our Story | Mike and Amanda Turner We are Mike and Amanda Turner, founders of “The Business of Us.” We are fierce advocates of helping entrepreneurial couples and families improve their lives, livelihoods, and legacies… READ MORE

Curiosity and humor have the power to transform any type of pain

Curiosity and humor have the power to transform any type of pain

I recently had a brain scan.

This was to evaluate a neurological abnormality.

Note: My sister and a friend also have this condition (which involves hyperactivity of the nerves on one side of your face), so how many people need to share this oddity before an abnormality becomes… normal?

Anyway.

When it started, I was misdiagnosed and told that I had shingles, which would likely erupt in a painful, pus-filled rash across my face. That didn’t sound like much fun and I said this to the doctor. He agreed that it sucked to be me.

Imagine my relief to learn that he’d been wrong. No facial rash for me, thank you very much. But, I was told, there might be something amiss in your brain.

It’s fairly distressing to know that doctors want to look at your brain, to seek out whatever is wrong in there that’s causing other parts of your body to misbehave.

In distressing situations, we often forget that we have control over how we react. We get to decide what our response will be. It might seem that it simply is what it is, but in reality there is choice involved.

Am I going to freak out? Melt down? Panic? I’ve taken this course of action in the past. It doesn’t serve me, doesn’t ease the matter at hand, and leaves me with feelings of regret. Yuck.

OR… am I going to approach the situation with curiosity and humor? (There’s always room for curiosity and humor. Even at funerals. Heck, ESPECIALLY at funerals).

The day of my MRI, I made the conscious decision to 1) Acknowledge that my reactions and handling of a situation are choices that I make; and 2) Opt for curiosity and humor over pointless angst.

One of the best parts of getting an MRI is that you get to wear scrubs. I wondered if they’d let me keep them. They didn’t. They told me I could keep the socks, but honestly they were sub par, as far as socks go.

But I loved the scrubs. I thought about how I’d once read that Nick Nolte shows up to movie sets in scrubs. He’ll have to change into costume anyway, so he figures he might as well be comfortable in the meantime.

I started wishing that I had a job that required wearing scrubs. But maybe not a job that required me to come into contact with anyone else’s bodily fluids.

Then I remembered that I’m a self-employed writer and I work from home. Really, I could just decide that my job requires scrubs.

All you have to do during an MRI is be still. I’m really good at lying down and doing nothing, so I felt well suited to this task. You lay on a platform that slides into a narrow tube. There are loud noises, but they also give you headphones and play music to distract you from how coffin-like your surroundings feel.

For me it was thirty minutes of dozing off and swallowing panic. When the panic would come, I’d remind myself that I can choose how to react and that I’d specifically settled on not panicking. Then I’d coach myself back to calm and doze off, before panic would try to surface and I’d go through the process again.

There’s always humor, I reminded myself. Then I thought of my friend Elaine Ambrose who farted during an MRI. It was loud and stinky and there was no denying it. She knew it, the MRI tech guy knew it, and she was mortified. She wrote a blog about it. It went viral.

Curiosity and humor are magical. They have the power to transform any type of pain. They cost nothing. They are there for us whenever we want to tap into them. All that’s required of us is the willingness and the fortitude to do so.

As far as my scan, I made it through without farting. Also, there doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with my brain. As to the (somewhat common) abnormality that started all of this, it’s just a quirk. A curious, funny little quirk.

Join The Community!

Join the quest for “The Sweet Life.” Request access to our Facebook Group. Let’s learn from each other! GO HERE

Free Audio Book Download

Full Unabridged Audio Book “Vagabonding With Kids” by AK Turner! GO HERE

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

See how you score? Identify your strengths. Discover areas in your life you want to improve. GO HERE.

Giving Back

Amanda and Mike launched an Impact Club in their hometown of Boise, Idaho in 2017, and have had a blast gathering like-minded individuals, families, and organizations to make significant impact in our community, raising over $200,000 locally and over $1.5 million nationally.

About Us

Our Story | Mike and Amanda Turner We are Mike and Amanda Turner, founders of “The Business of Us.” We are fierce advocates of helping entrepreneurial couples and families improve their lives, livelihoods, and legacies… READ MORE

The Runner of the Family

The Runner of the Family

I’m the runner of the family. I’m the one who’s trained for and completed a handful of half-marathons. Sure, that was close to a decade ago, but still. I’m the one with the medals.

Mike is not a runner. He hates running, but every now and then decides he’s going to take up the sport. This decision, at least half a dozen times, has been followed by a run in which he goes too far, too fast, and for too long. He returns broken and injured and frustrated that his stint as a runner is over before it started.

Awhile back, Mike and I completed an alcohol-free challenge. We like challenges and we’ve embraced them as a means of examining and improving different aspects of our lives. All of this ties in to The Business of Us, the venture we’ll be launching soon for others who are interested in doing the same.

We’ve done push-up challenges, writing challenges, meditation challenges, and are currently doing a StoryAthlete challenge (writing, but ties into improvement in Mind, Body, Business, and Relationships). A couple months ago we took on the alcohol-free challenge, and when you give up any vice, it’s helpful to take on a physical challenge to take its place.

That’s when we decided we’d train for and complete a half-marathon.

But I had rules. And Mike had to agree to them.

We had to stick to a proven schedule. We had to pace ourselves. We had to ice in the evenings. After all, I was the one with four half-marathons under her belt. Mike was the one who always ended up injured. It only made sense that I have a say in setting some parameters.

We started well, following my training schedule with shorter runs during the week and one long weekend run. Each week our distances increased. We had rest days; we iced. I was so proud of what we accomplished in that first month of training.

And then my arrogance bit me in the ass. Hard.

My ankles swelled up to the size of grapefruits (and let me tell you, this is not my most attractive look). I spent much of our anniversary trip to Spain awkwardly hobbling around (it was still an incredible trip). The running progress halted.

When my ankles returned to normal, Mike stepped in and created a new schedule, this time with run/walk intervals. It made sense and I agreed to it. I had a bad cold when we returned that interfered a bit, but we still managed to keep up with the schedule.

The cold subsided, and then I woke with my throat on fire, unable to eat. Can’t drink anything warm, so the next person to recommend a nice hot cup of tea can suck it.

This past week I’ve been living on cough drops and small sips of water.

I’ve never understood people who lose their appetites when ill or sad. I’ve always said I could eat my way through any number of infectious diseases or tragedies. I’m gifted like that.

But this is different. The physical pain actually outweighs the hunger. So I unwrap a cough drop and fantasize about eating when this shit is over. Seriously, you cannot imagine how much of my day is spent thinking about pasta.

Last night, as Mike snacked on a handful of roasted nuts, I actually said, “Wow. Those peanuts smell really good.” I digress.

I am SURE that I’m on the mend. I am POSITIVE that by Monday morning, we’ll be back on track and completing Mike’s schedule for the week.

It’s time for this crud that his physically knocked me down to DIE. (And along with it, my arrogance for thinking I’ve got it all figured out.)

And then, I’m going to fully embrace resuming the challenges we’ve set before us. It’s about fighting stagnation and improving every day. I’m not only going to embrace it, I’m going to ENJOY it. (And there’s a good chance I might also enjoy a giant bowl of pasta).

Join The Community!

Join the quest for “The Sweet Life.” Request access to our Facebook Group. Let’s learn from each other! GO HERE

Free Audio Book Download

Full Unabridged Audio Book “Vagabonding With Kids” by AK Turner! GO HERE

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

See how you score? Identify your strengths. Discover areas in your life you want to improve. GO HERE.

Giving Back

Amanda and Mike launched an Impact Club in their hometown of Boise, Idaho in 2017, and have had a blast gathering like-minded individuals, families, and organizations to make significant impact in our community, raising over $200,000 locally and over $1.5 million nationally.

About Us

Our Story | Mike and Amanda Turner We are Mike and Amanda Turner, founders of “The Business of Us.” We are fierce advocates of helping entrepreneurial couples and families improve their lives, livelihoods, and legacies… READ MORE

Progress is Contagious

I am learning Spanish right now. Which is no small feat; I’ve been practicing English for over 40...

How to Change Your Life

What we’re doing now takes less time, but is more effective, than any other diet or exercise I’ve tried. The workouts are hard. No joke, but often as quick as 15 minutes. It all comes down to a body in motion versus a body at rest.

Living a Better Story is Easier than Most Realize

When you are not living a good story, you spend a lot of time wondering and hoping you find your purpose, your passion, something meaningful beyond your job, your circumstances. It’s like you feel deep inside you were destined for something more or something bigger, but you just can’t figure out which door to open and which door to shut.

I Find the Pleasure in the Monotony

I know that to change my body, to develop my skills as writer, to learn a new language, takes years and even a lifetime of dedicated practice.

This is not what most people want to hear; they want a quick fix.

Kill Your Brain Cells

As an adult, I’d argue that some of your brain cells should be killed off. The idea is to rebuild the mind, but first you have to destroy the part of your brain that operates because of convention. The brain cells that tell you to go along with the herd, those are the ones that have to go.

Forget Date Night [Do this instead]

Forget Date Night [Do this instead]

For those of you who don’t know my wife, her name is Amanda. She is an accomplished author of 9 books. She hit the New York Times bestseller list… twice.

She does a million other amazing things. In short, she is badass, and it’s clear I married up. She is my favorite human.

She is who I crave to spend the most time with in my life. In the past, Amanda and I would routinely try to find a time on our schedule to have a date night. It didn’t happen very often. Once or twice a month was doing well.

Our schedules stay pretty full with kid stuff, family stuff, work stuff, social stuff. But in the last year we’ve found three new ways to spend a lot more quality time together. Just the two of us, and it’s been awesome.

The first one: Breakfast Dates

Yep, breakfast. There is a fantastic little hole-in-the-wall breakfast place close to our home where we can always get a table. We started by going on the occasional weekend morning when the kids were staying overnight with family or friends.

We found these breakfast meetings gave us something far more than delicious food. They gave us another means of dating. They feel like dates even though they are in the morning. And we found it’s far easier to fit these dates into our schedules than date nights. Plus, these meetings are productive, as we discuss projects we’re working on and brainstorm solutions together.

Next thing you know we are putting these meetings on our daily planner during the week, just like any other client or business meeting. So now we go to breakfast at least twice a week and we both look forward to them. We discuss important things and unimportant things. It’s awesome, and I highly recommend morning dating.

The second: Neighborhood Walks

Another new part of our routine is that we go on walks together, often after dinner. Sometimes we walk to breakfast. Another popular time is right after we finish our work for the day, and we are both eager to get up and move after sitting for so long. We don’t walk super far, but it’s long enough to get some health benefits from it.

We have a route that takes us about 30 minutes. We both have Fitbits, and one walk knocks off about half of the daily goal for steps. Beyond the health benefits of getting our steps in, it’s yet another time we get to spend together. Conversation varies from things we are reading to family dynamics to strategizing new business ventures.

This lovely habit has increased with the onset of better weather. So, I’m not sure what we’ll do when it gets cold again, but at this point I don’t care. I’m just enjoying the extra time with Amanda while burning some extra calories.

And the third: Drinks on the Deck

This last new habit that we love is definitely seasonal, and not nearly as healthy as the daily walks. We have two big decks at our house. Depending on what time of day it is, the decks can differ in temperature by up to 15 degrees. So, we can typically find a spot that is just right to sit together outside with a beverage.

There is something about being outside with great weather and a cocktail in hand that we love. It’s like the perfect date experience, but without having to go anywhere, and super easy to fit in. It’s a great time to reconnect after a long day or have a quick break from the kids, and simply enjoy the moment, together.

So, if you are in a relationship, and you crave more dates with your partner, consider mixing in some of these alternatives to date night. They are easier to schedule or to make happen during your busy week.

Happy Dating!

P.S. Amanda and I are celebrating our 20th anniversary next month! One secret to our marriage success is that we make a point to date. Just saying. Mike and Amanda Turner

Join The Community!

Join the quest for “The Sweet Life.” Request access to our Facebook Group. Let’s learn from each other! GO HERE

Free Audio Book Download

Full Unabridged Audio Book “Vagabonding With Kids” by AK Turner! GO HERE

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

See how you score? Identify your strengths. Discover areas in your life you want to improve. GO HERE.

Giving Back

Amanda and Mike launched an Impact Club in their hometown of Boise, Idaho in 2017, and have had a blast gathering like-minded individuals, families, and organizations to make significant impact in our community, raising over $200,000 locally and over $1.5 million nationally.

About Us

Our Story | Mike and Amanda Turner We are Mike and Amanda Turner, founders of “The Business of Us.” We are fierce advocates of helping entrepreneurial couples and families improve their lives, livelihoods, and legacies… READ MORE

Progress is Contagious

I am learning Spanish right now. Which is no small feat; I’ve been practicing English for over 40...

How to Change Your Life

What we’re doing now takes less time, but is more effective, than any other diet or exercise I’ve tried. The workouts are hard. No joke, but often as quick as 15 minutes. It all comes down to a body in motion versus a body at rest.

Living a Better Story is Easier than Most Realize

When you are not living a good story, you spend a lot of time wondering and hoping you find your purpose, your passion, something meaningful beyond your job, your circumstances. It’s like you feel deep inside you were destined for something more or something bigger, but you just can’t figure out which door to open and which door to shut.

I Find the Pleasure in the Monotony

I know that to change my body, to develop my skills as writer, to learn a new language, takes years and even a lifetime of dedicated practice.

This is not what most people want to hear; they want a quick fix.

Kill Your Brain Cells

As an adult, I’d argue that some of your brain cells should be killed off. The idea is to rebuild the mind, but first you have to destroy the part of your brain that operates because of convention. The brain cells that tell you to go along with the herd, those are the ones that have to go.

Life is boring without our blunders and absurdities

Join The Community!

Free Audio Book Download

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

Giving Back

About Us

Curiosity and humor have the power to transform any type of pain

Join The Community!

Free Audio Book Download

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

Giving Back

About Us

The Runner of the Family

Join The Community!

Free Audio Book Download

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

Giving Back

About Us

Forget Date Night [Do this instead]

The first one: Breakfast Dates

The second: Neighborhood Walks

And the third: Drinks on the Deck

Join The Community!

Free Audio Book Download

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

Giving Back

About Us

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