Yesterday I wrote about the GRIT workout that involved sandbags. Today I found out that while most of the GRIT members were suffering through the physical challenge, there was one who was dealing with an added difficulty.

Heather had to get her workout done, but also had to watch her kids. So she went to a park so the kids could play while she knocked it out.

Mike and I had a similar experience. Emilia had her tennis tournament, so we did our workout in between her matches on a lovely stretch of grass that was far enough away from our twelve-year-old so as not to embarrass her (“Mom, don’t you dare do your weird workout where everyone can see.”)

But like a lot of GRIT members, Heather didn’t have the luxury of doing hers in hiding. She needed to be able to keep an eye on her kids.

This put her in view of others, most of whom paid no attention as she hauled her sandbag back and forth, and army-crawled, and did all of the other exercises.

Except for one guy. One jerk who took pictures of her and talked trash (her children heard it too).

And do you know what Heather did?

She took the high road.

She focused on her workout and used the opportunity to teach her son that: “we DO NOT allow ignorant people with small minds and no manners to keep us from doing the things that are important to us. The things we find value in. No matter how silly we may look doing them.”

THAT is grit. The workout is easy in comparison. The workout is physical. But having the mental strength to ignore a heckler, to find the lesson in there for her children, that’s GRIT on a different level.

A prompt for a recent writing assignment was “I Know It Never Ends.” I interpret this as the difference between sustained efforts over time versus crossing a finish line.

Because when it comes to the important stuff, there is no finish line.

You cannot reach a goal weight and have “won” the diet.

You don’t finish writing a book and then check writing off your to-do list for the rest of your life.

You don’t finish reading a book and then throw away your library card.

You don’t get a degree and then decide you are done with learning.

I can’t tell myself that I did a really great job parenting yesterday, so I can have today off.

All of these aspects of life are fluid and malleable.

Our attention to each of them contributes to who we are, as a whole. Each requires continued evaluation and maintenance. There’s no finish line to cross.

Sustained effort isn’t easy and there’s no such thing as perfect.

I’m super-awesome at not being perfect. Yay, me!

For me, “You deserve it” is really seductive. I’m treat-motivated. I’m a Labrador. I excel at rewarding myself. Those rewards are what keep me going. I’m not a martyr or masochist – I have no desire to exist in pain-suck-awful all the time.

What I must do is engineer positive rewards. They don’t come in the form of fast food or slacking off. The reward has to be going out to eat but still making the right choices. A cocktail on the deck with my husband, but not the whole bottle. The occasional movie night, but no television more often than not.

I must also remain cognizant of the fact that there is a connection between atypical effort and the reward. If I want the treat, I have to chase the ball to exhaustion. The reward should not be the norm. That’s an easy trap for me to fall into. The effort wanes but the rewards persist. I want to be honest about that connection and keep it in balance.

Society pushes treats as the norm. I read a post by a trainer years ago talking about how, once upon a time, cake was something you had once a year on your birthday. It seems now that we’re drowning in sugar. Soda addictions, $5 Starbucks concoctions masquerading as cups of coffee, every hour is happy hour, and would you like the six-ounce glass of wine or the nine-ounce? (Nine, please.)

There is no finish line when it comes to being our best, to living healthy, happy lives and doing good for the people around us.

There are rewards along the way when the effort truly merits them, but we have to keep moving and working hard to earn them.

When I’ve worked hard to earn that reward, I have zero guilt about it. And because I realize there is no finish line, I’m not gunning for some intangible goal (like perfection… ha!). I’m just doing my best and enjoying myself along the way.