“And once you live a good story, you get a taste for a kind of meaning in life, and you can’t go back to being normal; you can’t go back to meaningless scenes stitched together by the forgettable thread of wasted time.”
― Donald Miller, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

I love this quote from Donald Miller’s book. When I read it, I couldn’t help to nod my head in agreement.

When you are not living a good story, you spend a lot of time wondering and hoping you find your purpose, your passion, something meaningful beyond your job, your circumstances. It’s like you feel deep inside you were destined for something more or something bigger, but you just can’t figure out which door to open and which door to shut.

My ah-ha moment about this didn’t come after I made a big shift or change in my life. It came after months of making 1% changes in areas of my life I simply wanted to improve. My business, my relationships, my health, and in my daily impact on others.

I committed to small improvements, and after a period of time, I realized I was living a better story.

I became emboldened after having so many small wins that I started aiming higher and thinking bigger.

The 1% improvements have compounded. Doors that were once hidden and out of sight are now in plain view, and it’s easier to see doors I need to shut.

As Donald Miller points out, once you live a better story, you get a taste of meaning in your life, and you can’t imagine going back to a less meaningful time.

If you’re struggling to find meaning or direction in life, I suggest that you don’t need to make a massive turn or change to find it. You simply start by making 1% improvements in all the important areas of your life.

For example, if your health is at the top of your list of areas to improve, I don’t suggest fasting for as long as you can or starting the latest popular diet, but rather pick one bad thing you can cut out of your diet. Once you get a series of small wins, then add another improvement, get wins, then add another improvement, and so on.

If you decide you want to read more but haven’t read a book in months, I strongly advise not setting a goal to suddenly read for 1 hour every day. Because you are likely to yo-yo on that plan and have more fails than wins.

But if you set an initial reading goal for 10 or 15 minutes, it’s much easier to stack up wins. And it should go without saying that wins feel awesome, and fails feel like…fails.

Tony Robbins frequently states, “Most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade.”

What he is describing is a real-life Hero’s Journey. Not a Hollywood version, but how each one of us can live a hero’s journey by living and pursuing a good life story over decades.

Our hero’s journey is going to be decades-long and realized by fighting for daily wins.

Living a better story is easier than most realize; it’s simply a matter of 1% daily improvements.

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Mike and I recently returned from a conference/mastermind group in Orlando. I spent the majority of our flights home in that awkward state where you’re trying to cry as quietly as possible.

No, I wasn’t sad to leave Florida.

I wasn’t afraid the plane would plummet from the sky (because I’m always sure it will, so why worry about it?).

I’d made some AMAZING new friendships at the event. But I wasn’t in tears because we had to say goodbye.

I was crying because I was reading What Stands in a Storm by Kim Cross.

It’s a beautifully written, thoroughly researched book about the biggest tornado superstorm in American history (it lasted three days, over 350 separate tornadoes touched down, and claimed hundreds of lives).

I’m not a weather geek.

I don’t know anyone connected to the event (other than a friendly acquaintanceship with the author, but I certainly didn’t know her in 2011 when the storms hit).

Why was I so impacted by this book? I’m aware of the fact that things like death and terror and tragedy are always present in the world, but those facts don’t put me in tears.

And then I realized that that’s the power of Story. It connects us when we are worlds apart. It bridges distance and societies. Story doesn’t care about your religion or politics.

Story is what lifts us. Because even though What Stands in a Storm had science and history and gory details and tragedy, none of those were the point.

The point was that some things will weather any storm.

A stranger’s capacity for kindness.

A community’s ability to come together.

The way that a parent grieving for the loss of their child will still find love and empathy for others experiencing their own losses.

These things are beautiful and important. And I believe that communicating them through Story is also beautiful and important.

We connect. We lift each other up. And sometimes we cry along the way.

​I’m a firm believer in process. This is the means by which you approach any significant undertaking and break it down into manageable pieces.

My first understanding of process in action came in relation to writing. I learned the hard way, over many years.

Because…

Writing a book was impossible. After all, a whole book? How long would it take me? How terrible would it be? Maybe instead of writing, I should buy books on writing and talk about writing and put away the dishes. Anything OTHER than write.

Once I broke through these initial barriers (only took me a solid decade), I wrote one word at a time, one sentence, one paragraph, one page, one chapter. Eventually, I had a manuscript. I had worked through the process.

Of course, it continued from there. About half of that initial manuscript was eventually scrapped. There were rounds of edits (more process), but each iteration was a step forward.

When the manuscript eventually reached book form, I looked back over the previous five years and clearly saw the process that had helped me reach that point. By identifying the process, and this time embracing it instead of fighting it along the way, I was able to make it more efficient for the next book.

I learned to trust the process.

And now I see how process applies to other areas of my life:

Learning another language: Daunting! Impossible!

Unless you adopt a process. For me this might be a combination of programs. One language lesson after another is the process.

Physical health: I’ll get in shape on Monday… Maybe next month I’ll join a gym.

Again, this just boils down to process. It is, literally, just one foot in front of the other.

Now I’m wondering what other areas in my life might benefit from incorporating process. What am I not seeing? Where can I improve?

If process works for you, I’d love to hear about it. Because I think with the right process, we can accomplish far more than we might think.

You know that saying, “There’s an app for that”? I think that way about process. Whatever it is you’re after, no matter how out of reach it might seem… “There’s a process for that.”

I attended a Writers Guild luncheon yesterday and had the honor of introducing screenwriter and novelist Samantha Silva. She detailed her journey from screenwriter to novelist and all of the pitfalls she experienced along the way.

Nearing the end of her talk, she spoke of how she will continue to preach “the gospel of story.”

As she described it…

“Story is how we tell each other what it is to be human.”

When she said those words, you could feel the power of them wash over the room of writers.

I’ve been thinking of those words ever since.

Story fosters connection. Story allows us to communicate our joy and despair and all that occupies the space in between.

Making that link to another human is powerful. It is why I make reading and writing daily priorities.

I believe that far more can be healed with what you’ll find in a library than in a pharmacy. It’s that powerful.

If you doubt this, take a moment to think of a story that’s changed your life. I’m sure you have one.

Then think for a minute if you might have a story that could change someone else’s life. I bet you have one of those as well.

Do you tell your story? Do you paint it, act it, shout it, write it, live it?

What’s your story?