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Life is boring without our blunders and absurdities

Life is boring without our blunders and absurdities

Someone very dear to me sent me this picture, with the simple caption, “This is lovely.” I agree. I don’t know why she sent this to me at the time that she did, but it fell in my inbox as if meant to be. Kismet. (And I don’t even believe in fate.)

“No one owns the day who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.”

If I’m burdened with anxiety, I’m unable to own my day, to realize its potential.

“Finish every day and be done with it.”

Yes! It’s simple but profound and maybe just the reminder I need to be here and now and moving forward.

“Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in. Forget them as soon as you can…”

There will always be blunders and absurdities. What a boring life I’d lead without them. Perfection has never been part of my aim, so why would I lament the blunders and absurdities? Aren’t they integral to my story?

“… tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.”

Shedding the unhelpful worries of what was – I love it. And thinking of it as my “old nonsense” just makes me smile.

“This new day is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the yesterdays.”

I’m not a worry-free person. I’m no Bobby McFerrin. But it seems to me that there are fruitful and unfruitful worries.

The unfruitful, like worrying about the blunders and the absurdities and the old nonsense, yields nothing and instead hinders what joy I might find today.

The fruitful worries focus on realizing the day’s potential. Will I make the most of this day I have?

That doesn’t mean it has to include a Triathlon or financial windfall or some hallmark of success.

Maybe it means creating a memory with my twelve-year-old or a word that brightens someone’s day or the simple but beautiful act of just letting down my guard.

I don’t ever want to take those small moments for granted. In the greater context of life, they might seem like grains of sand compared to the beach. But remember, there’s no beach without the grains of sand.

Can I even call an apprehension about realizing the day’s potential a worry? Perhaps for a second, because it’s only there for a breath before it turns into motivation to soak in this day with all its promise (“its hopes and invitations”).

That worry = motivation = drive = some sort of positive yield. I’ll take it and I’ll be grateful for it. Blunders included.

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Giving Back

Amanda and Mike launched an Impact Club in their hometown of Boise, Idaho in 2017, and have had a blast gathering like-minded individuals, families, and organizations to make significant impact in our community, raising over $200,000 locally and over $1.5 million nationally.  

About Us

Our Story | Mike and Amanda TurnerWe are Mike and Amanda Turner, founders of “The Business of Us.” We are fierce advocates of helping entrepreneurial couples and families improve their lives, livelihoods, and legacies… READ MORE

Have reverence for those who give

Have reverence for those who give

Mom Tickets

For my birthday, Ivy presented me with Mom Tickets and five, one-dollar bills.

I can redeem the Mom Tickets for various chores. Mopping the floor (up to ten times, good for one year), doing the dishes (up to five times, good for three weeks), and unlimited back massages over the course of the next month.

There are also tickets for breakfast in bed, help making dinner, the power to choose what we watch on movie night, and getting to have dessert (unlimited and with no expiration date).

The last ticket is a Bonus Ticket. It reads: Choose whatever ticket you liked the most and do it again!

Her gifts to me are a perfect reflection of who she is. Sugar-obsessed, hence the lack of parameters on the dessert ticket, but also centered on doing things for others.

When she was younger, she used to ask all the time, “Can I be your service?”

This meant she wanted to be told what to do. Bring me a glass of water, rub my feet, make me toast. She is compelled to serve.

We used to intervene when we’d see Emilia ordering Ivy around. “But she wants to do my chores for me,” Emilia would say. “She wants to be my service.” Ivy would nod in confirmation.

For years, Ivy was obsessed with waitresses. She would tell them how pretty they were. A waitress could be plagued with boils on her face, and Ivy would tell her she was pretty. Because a waitress was the embodiment of serving other people. To Ivy, that was beautiful.

As she’s grown, she’s recognized that service extends beyond the waitress. Her fixation with waitresses faded and she became obsessed with teachers. At the end of the last school year, she came home sobbing, distraught that her beloved Mrs. Sosa would no longer be her teacher.

She has reverence for those who give.

I’m not sure if this is something she’ll grow out of (I hope not), but it’s a beautiful thing to see.

For the foreseeable future, I have someone to help me with the household chores. And those five, one-dollar bills are going to make their way back to her in the form of tips.

Join The Community!

Join our Facebook GroupJoin the quest for “The Sweet Life.”  Request access to our Facebook Group.  Let’s learn from each other!  GO HERE

Free Audio Book Download

Full Unabridged Audio Book “Vagabonding With Kids” by AK Turner!  GO HERE

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

See how you score? Identify your strengths. Discover areas in your life you want to improve. GO HERE.

Giving Back

Amanda and Mike launched an Impact Club in their hometown of Boise, Idaho in 2017, and have had a blast gathering like-minded individuals, families, and organizations to make significant impact in our community, raising over $200,000 locally and over $1.5 million nationally.  

About Us

Our Story | Mike and Amanda TurnerWe are Mike and Amanda Turner, founders of “The Business of Us.” We are fierce advocates of helping entrepreneurial couples and families improve their lives, livelihoods, and legacies… READ MORE

Medals are nice but never forgo authenticity

Medals are nice but never forgo authenticity

Medals are nice. So shiny. Making the bestseller lists feels great. Suddenly your words have a legitimacy that wasn’t there before. Feels. So. Good. And yes, absolutely cause for celebration.

But the idea that these things lead you to a point of having “made it” or that happiness will follow as a result? False.

PERSPECTIVE SKEWED: When I began “writing,” I daydreamed about the awards and accolades. I THOUGHT a lot about writing, I talked about writing, I spent a small fortune on books ABOUT writing. It was a solid decade in the wanna-be stage while waiting tables and cleaning other people’s houses. I was trapped in the idea of “someday.”

GETTING MY MIND RIGHT: When I TRULY began writing, I put the daydreaming aside and instead focused on the page in front of me – getting the words down on paper. My priority became telling my story and connecting with the reader. Hyper focus on THAT is what eventually led to the awards and accolades.

And again, don’t get me wrong, they feel great.

But they can never be the focus. The goal must always be: connect with the reader.

Because the writing that truly connects with the reader will lead to the awards and accolades, which are the byproducts of a well-told story.

When the awards and accolades are the goal from the start, the writing loses its authenticity. We can’t afford to forgo authenticity, because when it comes to our readers, their bullshit meters are extremely sensitive.

If you ask someone to name a famous writer, there’s a good chance they might come up with Hemingway. Awards and accolades? Check. Success? Check. I know so many writers who are envious of Hemingway. After all, he won both a Pulitzer and a Nobel. Could it get any better? Apparently it could, because less than a decade after those wins, he killed himself. Is that how we want to measure success? Is that what happiness looks like?

Achieving a level of “success” in one area of life is great, but it won’t account for deficiencies in the others. Your business might be “killing it,” but what does that matter if poor health is literally killing you? You could be the most eloquent of wordsmiths, but that will do little to bring you happiness if your personal relationships are in shambles.

As Mike and I work through this journey we’re on, of challenge and introspection and daily improvement, we take time to celebrate the wins. We also remind ourselves that we can’t lose clarity on what really matters. Because, yes, medals are so pretty and shiny. But connecting with another human in a meaningful way is a far greater reward.

Join The Community!

Join our Facebook GroupJoin the quest for “The Sweet Life.”  Request access to our Facebook Group.  Let’s learn from each other!  GO HERE

Free Audio Book Download

Full Unabridged Audio Book “Vagabonding With Kids” by AK Turner!  GO HERE

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

See how you score? Identify your strengths. Discover areas in your life you want to improve. GO HERE.

Giving Back

Amanda and Mike launched an Impact Club in their hometown of Boise, Idaho in 2017, and have had a blast gathering like-minded individuals, families, and organizations to make significant impact in our community, raising over $200,000 locally and over $1.5 million nationally.  

About Us

Our Story | Mike and Amanda TurnerWe are Mike and Amanda Turner, founders of “The Business of Us.” We are fierce advocates of helping entrepreneurial couples and families improve their lives, livelihoods, and legacies… READ MORE

Curiosity and humor have the power to transform any type of pain

Curiosity and humor have the power to transform any type of pain

I recently had a brain scan.

This was to evaluate a neurological abnormality.

Note: My sister and a friend also have this condition (which involves hyperactivity of the nerves on one side of your face), so how many people need to share this oddity before an abnormality becomes… normal?

Anyway.

When it started, I was misdiagnosed and told that I had shingles, which would likely erupt in a painful, pus-filled rash across my face. That didn’t sound like much fun and I said this to the doctor. He agreed that it sucked to be me.

Imagine my relief to learn that he’d been wrong. No facial rash for me, thank you very much. But, I was told, there might be something amiss in your brain.

It’s fairly distressing to know that doctors want to look at your brain, to seek out whatever is wrong in there that’s causing other parts of your body to misbehave.

In distressing situations, we often forget that we have control over how we react. We get to decide what our response will be. It might seem that it simply is what it is, but in reality there is choice involved.

Am I going to freak out? Melt down? Panic? I’ve taken this course of action in the past. It doesn’t serve me, doesn’t ease the matter at hand, and leaves me with feelings of regret. Yuck.

OR… am I going to approach the situation with curiosity and humor? (There’s always room for curiosity and humor. Even at funerals. Heck, ESPECIALLY at funerals).

The day of my MRI, I made the conscious decision to 1) Acknowledge that my reactions and handling of a situation are choices that I make; and 2) Opt for curiosity and humor over pointless angst.

One of the best parts of getting an MRI is that you get to wear scrubs. I wondered if they’d let me keep them. They didn’t. They told me I could keep the socks, but honestly they were sub par, as far as socks go.

But I loved the scrubs. I thought about how I’d once read that Nick Nolte shows up to movie sets in scrubs. He’ll have to change into costume anyway, so he figures he might as well be comfortable in the meantime.

I started wishing that I had a job that required wearing scrubs. But maybe not a job that required me to come into contact with anyone else’s bodily fluids.

Then I remembered that I’m a self-employed writer and I work from home. Really, I could just decide that my job requires scrubs.

All you have to do during an MRI is be still. I’m really good at lying down and doing nothing, so I felt well suited to this task. You lay on a platform that slides into a narrow tube. There are loud noises, but they also give you headphones and play music to distract you from how coffin-like your surroundings feel.

For me it was thirty minutes of dozing off and swallowing panic. When the panic would come, I’d remind myself that I can choose how to react and that I’d specifically settled on not panicking. Then I’d coach myself back to calm and doze off, before panic would try to surface and I’d go through the process again.

There’s always humor, I reminded myself. Then I thought of my friend Elaine Ambrose who farted during an MRI. It was loud and stinky and there was no denying it. She knew it, the MRI tech guy knew it, and she was mortified. She wrote a blog about it. It went viral.

Curiosity and humor are magical. They have the power to transform any type of pain. They cost nothing. They are there for us whenever we want to tap into them. All that’s required of us is the willingness and the fortitude to do so.

As far as my scan, I made it through without farting. Also, there doesn’t appear to be anything wrong with my brain. As to the (somewhat common) abnormality that started all of this, it’s just a quirk. A curious, funny little quirk.

Join The Community!

Join our Facebook GroupJoin the quest for “The Sweet Life.”  Request access to our Facebook Group.  Let’s learn from each other!  GO HERE

Free Audio Book Download

Full Unabridged Audio Book “Vagabonding With Kids” by AK Turner!  GO HERE

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

See how you score? Identify your strengths. Discover areas in your life you want to improve. GO HERE.

Giving Back

Amanda and Mike launched an Impact Club in their hometown of Boise, Idaho in 2017, and have had a blast gathering like-minded individuals, families, and organizations to make significant impact in our community, raising over $200,000 locally and over $1.5 million nationally.  

About Us

Our Story | Mike and Amanda TurnerWe are Mike and Amanda Turner, founders of “The Business of Us.” We are fierce advocates of helping entrepreneurial couples and families improve their lives, livelihoods, and legacies… READ MORE

The Runner of the Family

The Runner of the Family

I’m the runner of the family. I’m the one who’s trained for and completed a handful of half-marathons. Sure, that was close to a decade ago, but still. I’m the one with the medals.

Mike is not a runner. He hates running, but every now and then decides he’s going to take up the sport. This decision, at least half a dozen times, has been followed by a run in which he goes too far, too fast, and for too long. He returns broken and injured and frustrated that his stint as a runner is over before it started.

Awhile back, Mike and I completed an alcohol-free challenge. We like challenges and we’ve embraced them as a means of examining and improving different aspects of our lives. All of this ties in to The Business of Us, the venture we’ll be launching soon for others who are interested in doing the same.

We’ve done push-up challenges, writing challenges, meditation challenges, and are currently doing a StoryAthlete challenge (writing, but ties into improvement in Mind, Body, Business, and Relationships). A couple months ago we took on the alcohol-free challenge, and when you give up any vice, it’s helpful to take on a physical challenge to take its place.

That’s when we decided we’d train for and complete a half-marathon.

But I had rules. And Mike had to agree to them.

We had to stick to a proven schedule. We had to pace ourselves. We had to ice in the evenings. After all, I was the one with four half-marathons under her belt. Mike was the one who always ended up injured. It only made sense that I have a say in setting some parameters.

We started well, following my training schedule with shorter runs during the week and one long weekend run. Each week our distances increased. We had rest days; we iced. I was so proud of what we accomplished in that first month of training.

And then my arrogance bit me in the ass. Hard.

My ankles swelled up to the size of grapefruits (and let me tell you, this is not my most attractive look). I spent much of our anniversary trip to Spain awkwardly hobbling around (it was still an incredible trip). The running progress halted.

When my ankles returned to normal, Mike stepped in and created a new schedule, this time with run/walk intervals. It made sense and I agreed to it. I had a bad cold when we returned that interfered a bit, but we still managed to keep up with the schedule.

The cold subsided, and then I woke with my throat on fire, unable to eat. Can’t drink anything warm, so the next person to recommend a nice hot cup of tea can suck it.

This past week I’ve been living on cough drops and small sips of water.

I’ve never understood people who lose their appetites when ill or sad. I’ve always said I could eat my way through any number of infectious diseases or tragedies. I’m gifted like that.

But this is different. The physical pain actually outweighs the hunger. So I unwrap a cough drop and fantasize about eating when this shit is over. Seriously, you cannot imagine how much of my day is spent thinking about pasta.

Last night, as Mike snacked on a handful of roasted nuts, I actually said, “Wow. Those peanuts smell really good.” I digress.

I am SURE that I’m on the mend. I am POSITIVE that by Monday morning, we’ll be back on track and completing Mike’s schedule for the week.

It’s time for this crud that his physically knocked me down to DIE. (And along with it, my arrogance for thinking I’ve got it all figured out.)

And then, I’m going to fully embrace resuming the challenges we’ve set before us. It’s about fighting stagnation and improving every day. I’m not only going to embrace it, I’m going to ENJOY it. (And there’s a good chance I might also enjoy a giant bowl of pasta).

Join The Community!

Join our Facebook GroupJoin the quest for “The Sweet Life.”  Request access to our Facebook Group.  Let’s learn from each other!  GO HERE

Free Audio Book Download

Full Unabridged Audio Book “Vagabonding With Kids” by AK Turner!  GO HERE

Take The SWEET LIFE Assessment

See how you score? Identify your strengths. Discover areas in your life you want to improve. GO HERE.

Giving Back

Amanda and Mike launched an Impact Club in their hometown of Boise, Idaho in 2017, and have had a blast gathering like-minded individuals, families, and organizations to make significant impact in our community, raising over $200,000 locally and over $1.5 million nationally.

About Us

Our Story | Mike and Amanda TurnerWe are Mike and Amanda Turner, founders of “The Business of Us.” We are fierce advocates of helping entrepreneurial couples and families improve their lives, livelihoods, and legacies… READ MORE

Quote Image for 'My Dream Office' a The Sweet Life article by Amanda Turner

My Dream Office

I optimize my environment by knowing exactly what I need, while remaining adaptable. I know that stressing over the perfect environment is not optimizing it, but a form of procrastination.

Quote Image for 'Inconvenience or Adventure?' a The Sweet Life article by Amanda Turner

Inconvenience or Adventure?

Traveling, parenting, being in business for oneself, all of these are areas that come with a heck of a lot of inconvenience. Everything is harder than expected and takes longer than expected. But all of it is much more enjoyable when approached with the mindset of, “Okay, let’s figure this out.”

Quote Image for 'Identifying Cause & Effect' a The Sweet Life article by Amanda Turner

Identifying Cause & Effect

I can only control my behavior. I can’t use cause and effect to change other people, nor is that my job, my right, or my concern.

Quote Image for 'Grateful for All the Sucky Things' a The Sweet Life article by Amanda Turner

Grateful for All the Sucky Things

To fully understand gratitude and have an appreciation for it, I think we have to go through some pretty tough times. We also have to gain an understanding of the world that goes beyond the limited scope of our singular lives. It’s more than noting the haves and have-nots, it’s seeing that the world is vast and varied, infinitely complex. There’s something beautiful about that.

Quote Image for 'Grateful for All the Sucky Things' a The Sweet Life article by Amanda Turner

Humor Makes It Less Awful

My mother, sister, and I are all drawn to morbid and terrible things. We’re not happy that the morbid and terrible things have happened, but since pretending they don’t exist doesn’t do any good, we indulge in a bit of fascination with them.
I mean, you can’t make them un-happen.

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